Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

Everyone has family. I am no exception. Our family tree was always a little diverse. Our folks always told us about the extended family in Byrdstown and Jamestown. We came from mountain folk. Not a secret. Nothing to be ashamed of. We knew we had a history. Mom and Dad were above all honest with us. We didn't keep secrets at our house, thats the way it worked.

Dads side of the Family included Max & Eula. He had Effie and Jesse. When you think about the mountains you thought of Jack, Horace, Jewell, Frank, Sambo and the twins. On a few trips up to the mountains we would have the occassion to meet some of the more distant members of the clan. I remember going up to visit Arizona and her man at a cabin near what I think was a strip mine. We attended a funeral procession for dads Uncle Dewey. That was a real treat. Not only did we meet some of the most diverse members of the extended family, we also found out that in some parts of the south it is not only acceptable but expected to have everyone line up to walk past the coffin to pay your respects and give the dead guy a last kiss. I was very happy Dad didn't make us do the kiss thing, I might never have survived.

Moms family included lots of Aunts and Uncles. We were fortunate enough to meet our great grandmothers on her side. Moms family wasn't always in the forefront. We managed to meet all of Moms family, brothers and sisters, except for one. Of course, Mom and Dad told us that she had run off when she was younger. Everyone else was accounted for. We met some of Moms Uncles and Aunts although we did not have extensive relations with them. Both of our folks pretty progressive. They usually made sure we were made aware of all of the different types of lifestyles that were out there. I always thought they wouldn't hold anything back. What I wasn't aware of is that all familys have their secrets. They may be little ones, or big ones, but they exist and most folks are just blown over when they come to pass. This secret was one that I don't believe was originally sponsored by the folks. It was probably started by the family Matriarchs adn then passed on like a bad cold till its accepted as the way things are. No matter, we were about to find out.

Grandma and Grandpa Davis were due to have a anniversary party. Nice that we were invited considering the strain of recent times (refer to "Merry Fxxxing Christmas") It was a special occassion where all the family would be present. A time for celebration. Mom and Dad put us in some nice clothes. They put on their happy faces and cleaned up. We were the perfect middleclass american family. As was also typical, we were given the warnings. "Don't miss behave" "Stay out of trouble with your cousins" "Don't forget to wish Grandma and Grandpa happy anniversary" and oh yeah, "Remember the Aunt we told you ran off and we don't talk to? That wasn't true, she really married a black man who was a friend of your Grandpas" "We don't visit with them cause the family doesn't agree" We were smart kids.We understood diversity. We knew this was no big deal. We could handle it. After all what was there to handle. We had a mixed marriage in our family. So, with all of us still digesting the information, we were off to the family reunion. Our whitebread family with the most puritan viewpoints on life was off to celebrate with our African American Uncle and his wife whom no one had given us a chance to meet. Once we arrived at the Anniversary it became clear there was more to the story. Not only did we have a mixed marriage. We also had cousins of color. Obviously, to be expected. This, however was not a day for the expected. This was a day of surprises. This was the day we learned how a family could change color.

Its true. I found out a lot that day. A lot about my parents. A lot about my grandparents. A lot about my aunt and my new found cousins. I suppose the most I found out was about myself. I found out how little it mattered that I had Black relatives. We still didn't develop a deep seated bond that parlayed into a weekly visit with our newly found relatives. No doubt, it was hard to undue the years of damage that had been done. As the story goes, their life was challenged. The choices their parents made were pretty unconventional during those times. The children, I hear, had it pretty rough.

I still find it funny when I look back through the family album at the reunion photos. I tell my kids of the surprise I got just about the same time as I turn the page and reveal the photos of me with my black cousins. The day I found out my cousins were black.