Watch and Learn

Lots of lessons can be learned and are taught by the art of simulation. Children learn how to speak by repeating what their parents say. We learn how to interact with others based on how well out peers interact. We take many lessons from our folks until one day we grow up, excercise our free will and decide which lessons to emulate and which ones to ignore. Then we start the whole process over so that our kids can formulate their own decisions as well.

Mom was a great driver, with only a few minor mishaps that I can recall. She was a thoughtful driver. When her 10 year old was getting sick out the back window of the car and a lady in another car screamed "oh my god" she managed to pay no attention to her, even though her first instinct might have been to slap her into next week. When she backed out of a driveway while picking up kids and one of the kids fell out of the back door of the car, she did panic a bit because she thought she might have ran over them but luckily not a scratch was on them. Even when she freaked out and accelarated because someone passed her on the right side at a stop light, she only managed to take out a fence and a tree and a front porch. No harm, no foul. I can almost see people running through the yard as we speak. She was also a good gauge for our dads driving as well.

We had left an event, (in those days it could have been a wind blowing convention to provide a chance for liquid celebration). Dad had partaken of a little to much to drink and Mom was not comfortable with the way he was driving. The rest of us kids just sat and listened. We knew the minute mom spoke up, things were going to get ugly. Dad kept reassuring her things were ok. Mom kept reassuring him that he was a lunatic. One thing you didn't do was disagree with dad when he wasn't drinking and you definitly did not disagree with him when he was. The drink drained his reasoning and since he was dreadfully short of that anyway you could be sure that he would explode when confronted. Mom had seen this before. We all had. I think she just decided enough was enough. They fought as we drove down the road. Dads driving was eradic. He was a proffessional driver by this time, so I suspect some of the rodeo driving he was doing was to mess with mom. Things escalated to a boiling point. Somewhere in New Castle, Dad pulled over to use a restroom. Mom decided to take a stand. She locked all the doors and refused to let Dad in. Let me just say, wow. Mom decided enough was enough. The whole parking lot was witness to this act of defiance. So were the kids. Mom said no. Dad screamed while banging the windows for her to let him in. Mom stood her ground. I was sure that anyone within a mile could have heard dad scream "GOD DAMMIT BETTY JO LET ME IN" Mom remained steadfast. She was not going to give in. She had decided that this was a safety issue. I am not sure how long it lasted. I know that my Dad is persistant. I beleive he would have fought all night. That was his nature. At some point, Mom gave in. Dad got back in and drove us home and we made it safely. I believe that each time this type of thing happened Mom and Dad changed a little bit. We witnessed the changes. The days when they were holding hands and beaming like a young couple in love. We also witnessed the "hell days" when the stress of raising a young family and providing for them while balancing your own life became too much. Those days were tough on all of us. We watched and learned.